Sibling Support in New Jersey

Brothers and sisters carry their own version of the experience, and support for them exists separately from services for the child with a disability. Families usually start with honest, age-appropriate conversation at home, then look for sibling groups through Family Support Organizations, parent organizations, hospitals and local community programs.

• Honest information at their level, so they are not filling in gaps on their own
• Permission to have mixed feelings, including frustration and worry
• Time and attention that is theirs, even in small amounts
• Other kids who understand without needing an explanation
• A clear idea of what is and is not their responsibility

Siblings often become very capable and very quiet about their own needs. Regular, low-pressure check-ins matter more than one big conversation.

1. 1Give simple, honest explanations

   Use plain language about your child's needs, and answer the question that was actually asked. It is fine to say you do not know.

2. 2Name the feelings out loud

   Let siblings know that love and frustration can exist at the same time, and that saying so is allowed in your family.

3. 3Protect small amounts of one-on-one time

   Fifteen predictable minutes is often worth more than an occasional special outing.

4. 4Be clear about caregiving expectations

   Decide what help is reasonable for their age, and say out loud what is not their job.

5. 5Look for peer connection

   Ask about sibling groups, workshops or camps where they can meet other siblings.

• Your county's Family Support Organization, which often runs family and youth programming
• SPAN and NJ Statewide Parent to Parent, for parent support and referrals
• Hospital-based family support and social work departments
• Local parent groups, houses of worship, libraries and recreation departments
• Diagnosis-specific organizations, which sometimes host sibling events

• Do you offer any programming for siblings, and what ages?
• Is there a cost, and is transportation available?
• How often does the group meet, and what happens at a typical session?
• Are the group leaders trained to work with siblings of children with disabilities?
• Can parents attend, or is it just for the kids?
• If there is a waitlist, is there anything else you would suggest in the meantime?

• Sibling groups are peer support, not therapy; if your child needs clinical care, ask your child's doctor.
• Availability varies a lot by county and by season; confirm details directly with each program.
• Vicabell does not screen or endorse programs and cannot confirm openings.
• Please do not share other children's private details in support settings without their agreement.

• Ask your county's Family Support Organization what they offer for siblings this season, and pick one small change you can make at home this week.

• What Is a Family Support Organization (FSO) in New Jersey?
• What Is Respite Care in New Jersey?
• Find ResourcesFamily Support Organizations and county programs.
• EventsFamily workshops and support groups across New Jersey.

• SPAN Parent Advocacy Network New Jersey's Parent Training and Information Center, including family support programs.
• NJ Statewide Parent to Parent (a program of SPAN) Connects parents and caregivers with trained parent-to-parent support.
• Autism New Jersey Statewide information and referral, including recreation and program questions.